The Orb-Weaver's Story

I'm fairly certain the spider who has made his home in the upper right-hand corner of my kitchen window is an orb-weaver. Of course, I'm basing this conclusion from various pictures on google images, but he seems to have the stripes in the right places. He is an ugly thing - and by "ugly" I mean "beautiful." I've named him Jean-Luc Picard, but his nickname is Tony. Each night, Tony puts on his best shoes and hits the clubs. He's a fan of Red Label and, from the way he mopes about during the day, seems to hit the stuff a little too hard sometimes. It's okay, Tony. We all go through a party phase - mine last 10 years.

Tony's writing a novel too. No, it isn't about the plight of spiders or anything as serious as that. It's about a group of people who live in the forest surrounding Makanda, IL. One of them - a blind woman with salt-white hair down to the small of her back - wanders into town one day and, at an antique shop, discovers a water clock and a cobwebbed wheel from a Model-T. Well, you can probably guess where it goes from there, but Tony has asked me to give you a hint. In Tony's words: There is a showdown atop Devil's Stand-table and, later, a snowy car crash along the wine trail.