Good morning, Fauxyalists! Your Fauxst has been away for awhile, but now he's (I'm) back. Where did he (I) go, you're (you're) asking? Well! Let me tell you about a little place called Blind Knife. It's exact coordinates I do not know, but I can tell you it is a city somewhere east of Plum Island and south of Greenland. I don't know if it's underwater, perhaps it is. I breathed easily enough, however. Anyway, it is a city famous for its salt (of which I am bloated on) and its silk (of which I bought many green and gold scarves), and, perhaps most of all, its pork sausages (of which I am also bloated on). I followed a girl there. It's a simple story, really, involving kidnapping on the cattle seas by that most dubious of picaroons, Cap'n Ten Mouths, and his beetle-legged pirates; an unexpected death and an expected one; an evil archaeopteryx who flew in darkness, his poisonous prehistoric excrement raining upon the city; a daring (and unsuccessful) rescue by pear tree; a parting sausage filled with sliced pig kidneys and heart; et cetera.